For this #MusicMonday, I thought it best to complete my comeback with a song that kinda covers every year of the journey back.

Although, honorable mention here for the line from Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J… Don’t call it a comeback. I’ve been here all along; I just wasn’t speaking loud enough. As always, I don’t own this songs and try my best to credit correctly.

1- Keep The Car Running- Arcade Fire

This one best fits my 2020. It captures a lot of the uncertainty that I had, and it was more than the pandemic situation. My tight knit family unit started to fall down one by one, like dominos. Some survived, some didn’t. There was a point I stopped asking how much more I could take, and simply started asking what else could happen at this point. So a lot of the lyrics hit that anxious lowest of lows for me, while still being upbeat, because no matter what, there was no stopping. I just kept going. One step at a time, one car trip at a time.

2- The Long Way Home- Norah Jones

This one fits 2021, because that was the year for coping. Taking the long way to understanding. Best described as bittersweet events; moments where it should be happy, but sometimes the thoughts crept in suggesting that the losses were too much for any happy rights. Or doing the right thing didn’t stop the desires to run from the new responsibilities. I started doing more writing for distraction, absorbing asian television because being forced to read subtitles meant my brain couldn’t wander, it had to be present. And honestly? I found a whole host of new stories I loved and learned from that way. And it helped with connecting with people again too.

3- Welcome To Wherever You Are- Bon Jovi

2022 was probably supposed to be the year of my return, especially since I was revising the series all over again and trying to send it out. Except more of the same grieving kicked in again, leaving me in a very weird place of almost out of the numbness and starting to feel my new normal, before being dragged back into the numb. But this time, I has the beginnings of a support system that wasn’t available to be by my side when needed, but was always just a message away for grounding. For sanity. For talking out the bad nights until they were better days again so I wasn’t doing all that work all over again. Welcome To Wherever You Are fits that what is a new normal and how do I fit in anywhere that was the way my year felt.

4- Back To You- Bryan Adams

2024 was a weird year. I lost that best friend early in the year, but he never left my head or my heart, and I ended up writing about him a lot. Which is why this song fits that. He was a beacon to me, and I will forever honor his memory whenever it fits him. He really helped fast track healing for me, and made it acceptable to be myself again. Even if I didn’t know what that was and where that would take me, he just made it okay to exist in the space I forgot how to shape. And now I have redefined a lot of things for myself, with new goals and plans and the same dreams I always believed in.

5- Back To Life- Soul ll Soul

That brings us to 2025. My come back journey has been long, and I don’t think it’s all over, but it is solid enough to try again. Making myself present in the now, bringing myself back to life and living with a purpose I am proud of. Making dreams come true one step at a time. Being better for those around me too. It’s time for the reimmersion of my heart and soul in what I love doing. I waited until this year, because it wasn’t fully there last year. I wrote a lot more, but nothing I wanted to own or commit to. Did edits, debated polishing for querying or giving up that part of the dream to self publish in some form…

It wasn’t until February first when a story hit me like a Mac truck and took two days to wrap my head around before I could even do it justice…

That’s when I knew where my heart wanted to be. And that it was ready to dig into my signature slow burn emotional payoff style. Before that, if I couldn’t feel it, I couldn’t write to make you readers feel it. This story is what I will call the Ouroboros. It has a different drafting title, yet that’s the term I used to explain it to myself. I am still writing through some deeper feelings, but it’s no longer at odds with the work. This story felt like it had a time limit. It needed to be done before the end of February, a start to finish draft in 26 days because the first two were getting it sorted out. And I completed it with a week left. That sprang up two more ideas for books, and I keep chugging along again, feeling like I can more confidently say that I branched out into areas I was less familiar with that fit my style, and some day soon I might just be able to say to my readers however you want me, I can write something up like that.

But first? First we get everything fixed back up. Engage socially with future readers, give plenty of things to read as well as the music inspiration behind whatever is on my mind at the time… Get some new wheels on the running car, before driving it the long way home through wherever you are, just to get back to you and back to life as I wished it to be.

I hope it’s a good come back journey, because I definitely learned the traveling is sometimes more important than the destinations. My destination has never changed, just my pathways, and my flexibility in how to get there. Small attainable goals are still gains that build to the bigger ones you want most.